


Satisfied

by itstiredandy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hamilton inspired, M/M, Not a straight up AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-09-28 19:22:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20431166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itstiredandy/pseuds/itstiredandy
Summary: what do you do when you and the sibling you love fall for the same person? what’s even fair in this situation?Roman Kastler knew exactly what he had to do, but he also knew he’d bear the burden of consequences for a long while.





	1. ohh he done fucked up

**Author's Note:**

> YES this is inspired by the song Satisfied from Hamilton and NO this is not a Hamilton AU  
I drew inspiration from the situation satisfied depicts, so like... the summary i wrote. I want to expand this into something different tho I will make a lot of Hamilton references, cus uh... can!  
Anyway, hope you enjoy please leave a comment!

“Did you get invited to Patton’s party today?!”

This was the first thing Roman Kastler asked his friend, Virgil, upon seeing him first thing after lunch on Monday. The boy had been waiting outside their shared classroom for him, as he does. Without saying a word, he showed Roman his phone screen. It had whatsapp opened, the conversation with Patton with a text from him that invite him to said party.

“Ha, nice!”

“This is Patton, Roman, he invited our entire year.” 

“I wanted to be sure. You’re going, right?!”

“I would rather not but I would also rather not hear you yapping on my ear every day for the rest of my life, so sure.”

“Thank you for the part that flatters me.” They began taking their seats inside. “Remus got an invite too, we can go as a trio!”

“Sure thing.”

“Be more enthusiastic!”

“We’re about to have, essentially, a biology lecture, sorry if i’m not yelling about how excited I am.”

Roman opened his mouth, and proceeded to close it right after, shrugging. “Can’t argue with that.”

A little bit later, their teacher came in and the class started. Roman doodled things on his notebook while Virgil took notes and the time passed by slowly, seeing as they had something to look forward to. The last two periods also seemed to stretch longer than they were meant to. 

And then it was time to dress up, look pretty and have some fun. 

The thing about this party that had Roman most excited for was the fact that it was a costume party. Patton told everyone to dress in 1800s fashion. He had no idea what Virgil would wear but him and his brother wore the same type of suit, Roman’s was red and Remus’ was green. Their parents said both looked elegant. 

“I,” Roman rolled up his sleeves, “look fabulous. Remus looks like a trash stinky man.”

“It’s better than looking like a weird ass coke bottle.”

“Green is not a creative color!”

“No, it’s a gross mossy color and I, love, it.”

“Sure you do.” Roman took a look at his watch. “Virgil should be getting here soon.”

“I’m waiting outside.”

While Remus peaced signed his way out of room, Roman stayed behind. He gave both his parents a quick hug before fixing his hair on the hallway mirror and meeting his brother outside. Their friend arrived not too long after. He arrived in his family’s car, which they would ride to Patton’s house.

“You two are looking clean.” Virgil arched an eyebrow, side eying Remus. “Nice.”

“I say the same to you!” Roman shot back, admitting the other’s outfit.

It was a white shirt under a purple vest and black long pants. The shoes were also black and shiny, but seemingly a bit too big for the boy, Roman figured he borrowed it from one of his dads. He looked handsome either way.

“Ya, Virgy, you looking real sexy!” Remus giggled. “Now, let’s get going to a party in the 19th century.”

With Virgil on the wheel, and the twins house being like five minutes away from the party’s host, it was a short drive. They also seemed to be somewhat early. Aside from Patton himself who greeted them at the door, there was no one else there yet.

“Hey kiddos! Great to have you, you’re the first ones to arrive. Do you want anything? Cookies, potato chips, water, soda-?”

“Just let us into the kitchen and we can help ourselves, or else you’re gonna list everything you have, huh?” Remus was the first to step inside. 

“Sorry about that.” Roman went second, with his friend right behind. “We would love to eat and drink, though.”

“Yea, come in, come in!” Patton stepped aside to let them pass before closing the door. “The kitchen is further down on the left.”

The four boys talked and ate before other guests arrived. Roman recognized three of five people that came in: Valerie Torres, Dahlia Nicole and Joan Stokes. The other two, Remus would tell him, were Kenny Armstrong and Brittney Kelly. They joined in before more people arrived. Some half an hour later, the house became packed.

At some point when Roman had broken away from his group to get more soda for everyone, a stranger caught his attention. They had merely walked past him, Roman could never tell you what exactly attracted him to them. Perhaps the costume? It certainly seemed the most elaborate he’d seen so far. With the golden shirt under a black silky detailed jacket over it, khaki pants and black high boots. That combination could grab anyone’s attention really. But they managed to capture Roman’s. The intelligent eyes in a hunger panged expression were quite enticing, provocative.

The stranger seemed to notice this, making their way to talk to Roman before he left the kitchen. 

“Hey.” 

“Hello.”

He would have introduced himself. That was the polite thing to do, was it not? Except, his mind drew a blank. Roman managed to forget his own name for a couple of seconds. The utter excitement he felt in his chest felt like it could blow up the world, set every part of it aflame. This made the other take the lead of the conversation.

“You strike me as someone who’s never been satisfied.”

Well, that had took a strange turn.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, it feels like you are like me. Someone who can never get enough of anything.”

“I… see.”

“It’s a good thing, I promise.” They added with a devilish smirk.

Could that mean trouble? Part of Roman thought, yes, it did. A greater part of him thought that it didn’t matter. Trouble could be fun. 

“I’m Roman Kastler.” 

“Leuen Decanis.”

“I don’t recall seeing you at school before.”

“Is that important? There’s a million things I haven’t done and school… is not on that list.”

“Ha, you can’t be serious.”

Leuen gave him a look with one eyebrow up. It was a remark, something like,  _ you wouldn’t be able to tell if I was. _

With squinted eyes, Roman rebutted. “I’m sure you still go, you’re just trying to seem like someone who thinks they’re too gold for school.”

“... Perhaps.” The smirk from before appeared again. “I’ll need to leave you for a bit, but we’ll see each other again.”

They turned on their heels and walked away, fanning their fingers in Roman’s direction as they did. The boy was left with a sense of wonder. The flirtation had been heavy and it felt fantastic. Everything said in total harmony, even if Leuen did try to evade Roman’s remark. There was something wrong there. But oh boy, were they handsome and they were very aware of it.

Roman was ready to talk to his group about the encounter, but just as he turned to leave the kitchen, he was face to face with Remus. And the expression on his twin’s face made him realize three fundamental things:

  1. Their parents put a lot of their expectations onto Roman. Everything that they had ever dreamed for their children: marrying rich, having a traditional family and a blood related child… all of that feel onto Roman. Which meant that any romance he might’ve had with Leuen could go exponentially wrong in so many ways. It didn’t make him want them any less.
  2. Remus was helpless. His eyes, the longing in them and the… infatuation was all too present. And, to Roman, it would feel like such a betrayal going after Leuen knowing this.
  3. He knows his brother like he knows his own mind. Remus would refuse to pursue Leuen as well if he knew Roman had fallen first. Leuen would be his. And then Remus would lie, say his fine, and end up building up resentment that could tear their relationship apart.

Maybe all of this is why Roman does what he does next.

“Roman!” His twin called, grabbing him by the arm. “Who was that you were talking to? I call dibs!”

“Oh, you so now?” He forced out a smile. “Give me a minute or two then.”

He pulls away from Remus and navigates a sea of people to go after Leuen. Finding them in the living room, sipping on their drink, Roman walks up to them without any hesitance. 

“We meet much earlier than anticipated!” They charm. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Roman holds out his arm to them, hoping they’ll take it. “I’m about to change your whole life.”

Leuen does. “Then, by all means, lead the way.”

He takes the person to Remus, still standing in the kitchen. His brother had wide eyes but a smile on his lips nonetheless. 

“Remus, this is Leuen Decanis.” He began the introduction. “Leuen, this is Remus Kastler.”

“Kastler?”

“My brother.”

“Oh, I see!”

“Hey there.” Remus says.

“Why, hello.”

“I’ll leave you lovebirds to it.”

And Roman walks away. Something in him tries to pull him back, tries to make him run back and take back every action he made in two last two minutes. Was it too late? What did it matter when it had been the right call?

His face must’ve looked miserable when he went to talk to Virgil again cause his friend definitely knew something happened. By the way the boy stepped closer and squinted his eyes in Roman face’s direction, Roman could tell he just knew.

“What did you do now?”

He took a deep breath. “Something I might deeply regret for the rest of my life, but that also might have been… deeply necessary.”


	2. remus has some shit to think about my peeps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaa chap two my buds

The party from Remus’s perspective was much less… depressing. Let’s review, shall we?

Upon stepping inside Patton Lommert’s house, he got to drop himself onto a comfy couch, with food and drinks. As more and more people arrived, he got to share crazy stories from his childhood, which involved a lot of embarrassment on Roman’s part. I mean, when you push your brother, who is sitting on a skateboard, down a slightly elevated street and he plunged into the trash cans at the end, it was bound to make a funny story, no? Roman would forever call Remus a bastard over this. He made sure to do so at the party while his brother told the story as well. But moving on, things got a lot more interesting.

His twin stood up to grab drinks for their group. Remus had decided to follow him, just to annoy his brother further. It was his very reason for living. What was better than making your sibling want to jump at your throat? 

Seeing the boy Roman was talking to was. That was something way better. If his heart could make an audible sound, it would have made a big old  ** _BOOM_ ** . He kept watching until the other boy walked away, only to grab his twin by the arm and make a declaration.

“Roman! Who was that you were talking to? I call dibs!”

“Oh, you do now?” His brother grinned.

Remus knew that grin. It was the grin for ideas. It was the grin that Roman reserved for when he thought he knew exactly what to do. Rare were the times when he actually knew exactly what to do. Remus would be nervous if he had a sense of self preservation, which, most who met him said he lacked.

His brother left the kitchen and returned seconds later with the boy he was talking to minutes prior. 

“Remus,” Roman began, “this is Leuen Decanis. Leuen, this is Remus Kastler.”

“Kastler?” 

It was easy to read the amusement in Leuen’s eyes. Roman had introduced himself before then. Leuen looked at Remus as though he was a pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. Looking into his eyes, Remus felt the sky was the limit.

“My brother.”

“Oh, I see!”

“Hey there.” Remus shot.

“Why, hello.” Leuen grabbed his hand and gave it a kiss.

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it.” 

And Roman did. For the rest of the entire party, Remus hung around Leuen, who seemed just as interested in Remus as Remus was in him. The boy listened to the childhood stories with many questions to shoot and many snarky remarks to give. The latter always made Remus laugh, throwing his head back and snorting like a mad man. By the end of the night, they exchanged numbers and the chaotic twin swooned.

Virgil made sure to make a comment about this when they were in the car.

“Sounds like you had one hell of a night there, Remus.”

“You and Leuen had fun, huh?” Roman poked his twin’s side with his own elbow.

“He was so charming!” Remus shot. “Had a lot of jokes too, oh does he know comedy.”

“Someone’s smitten.”

“Perhaps!”

“Oh my, you really are!”

“I’m sorry, I was unaware there was something not to be smitten about!”

“Oh, we’ve lost him.” Virgil added. “He’s knee deep in that crushing on Leuen juice.”

“It. is. delicious.”

“Of course you’d say that.” 

“I want to drown myself in it.”

“Rem!” Roman called.

“What? It’s true.”

“You are one weird cookie.”

“Psh, you love me for it.”

“I think you lost your mind back there too.”

“Would you help me find it?”

“If it makes you talk less about drowning in juice, sure thing.”

“How,,,” Virgil drove as he shook his head slightly, “did we get here,,”

“You’re the one who talked about Leuen first, bud.”

He sighed. “Yes, and I really regret it now. But anyway-“ He pulled back the shift stick. “You home.”

“Oh I need my bed.” Remus dropped his head on Roman’s shoulder. “Carry me.”

“To the dumpster? Sure, climb on board.” His twin clicked his forehead.

“Take me, I’m all yours.”

Roman sighed, half laughing. “Thanks for the ride, Virge. See you at school!”

Virgil opened the front passenger's seat window. “See ya.” 

“Bye bye, shadow man!” Remus stepped outside with his twin.

“Bye, stinky bastard.”

He started throwing kisses. “Love you.”

“Yah yah, good night, you two.”

“Night, Virge!”

And then he drove off. Remus plopped on Roman, who had to drag him by the wrist to the door. He wasn’t exactly drunk, but Remus definitely felt like his vision was tilting a little bit. Was everything spinning? It sure seemed like it was.

“You had way too much to drink.” Roman pointed out, struggling to get Remus through the front door.

“Let me have fun, c’on-“

“I never cut you off, man.”

“Fuck off.”

This was when his twin let out of his wrists and Remus flopped onto the floor, falling. “Ow.”

“Sleep well on the cold floor, I’ll take my bed any day.” Roman wiggled his fingers as a sort of goodbye, already taking the stairs.

“Pleeeeeeeeease-“

“Jesus-“ Roman came down and grabbed Remus again. “I should get paid for taking care of you.”

“Excuse me, I’m poor.”

“So am I, dingus.”

Up in their room, Roman let his twin plop on his bed. It took him less than a second after closing his eyes to start snoozing and snoring. 

In the morning, Roman would inform his brother that his phone buzzed a couple of times before he himself went to bed. And that the messages were all from… yeah, you might’ve guessed, Leuen. See, at the party, Leuen had mentioned he owned a dog and Remus, being the dog enthusiast he was, demanded pictures. As in, more than one picture. And boy, did he get many! They show cased a pupper, about as big as a small sized cardboard box, with black fur. Remus wanted to suffocate the thing with hugs.

He also sent a good morning text, and another one talking, in detail, how much he loved to spend the night with Remus at the party. And oh, my, Leuen had a way with the written word. The text made Remus blush! Something even Roman, his own brother, was not used to seeing. And Remus himself, was not used to doing. So a question in his mind arose:  _ how do I deal with this? _

Just the image of Leuen and his eyes made Remus really want to drown in them. Instead of icy or ocean blue, Leuen’s were dark brown. So he’d suffocate in chocolate instead of the sea, that seemed better anyway.

But here’s the issue: Remus was overwhelmed with those feelings. However, if all the romance movies and books he’s ever read were anything to go buy, then it was safe to say he had fallen in love. Helplessly and deeply. Yet, the expert in this was his brother, not Remus. 

He decided to bring this subject a week later, when he was a hundred percent sure. Because with every text he received from Leuen, it seemed like his life just became better. He sprung this up on his twin after dinner.

“Y- wait, seriously?” Roman leaned closed.

“What do you think, Rome, of course I’m serious!”

“It’s just- it’s- so rare to see you be serious.”

“I know but the topic is serious so I figured…”

“You need my help?” His twin arched an eyebrow in suspicion. 

“... Maybe.”

“Ohooo, then ask for it, stank.”

“Rome!”

“It won’t kill you, now.”

“Just might.”

“Dramaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-“

Remus spoke over him. “Shut up and just help me!”

“aaa- can you say please?”

“Rome-“

“AAAAAAAAAAA-“

“FINE, HELP ME, PLEASE, YOU STUPIDASS FUCKER.”

Roman fake gasped. “How mean! But sure, I’ll help you. What do you want to know?”

“Do you think Leuen is flirting with me?”

“Well, I’ve only seen you interact once but I’m pretty sure he was.”

Remus nodded, thinking. “Okay. How did you ask your first boyfriend to date you?”

“Whaaaa- you can’t copy me! Especially because my first boyfriend was a cute nerd, he likes different things then Leuen probably does.”

“I know, I just need the reference.”

“Ya, ya, fine. I took him to a planetarium and asked while he looked at the solar system.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, what were you expecting?”

“Dunno, some giant music number? A flash mob? Something big, you’re so dramatic, I figured you’d make a whole new holiday for it-“

“Ha, ha.” Roman’s laugh was dry. “Simple can be just as romantic.”

Remus gave a shrug. “If you say so.”

It’s not like the boy was trying to propose Leuen’s hand in marriage anyhow. Flirting back for now would do. Why commit so early anyway? He knew the guy for only a week. Maybe it wasn’t even love after all, just… infatuation. It consumed all his thoughts and made his stomach feel all weird but who says that is had to actually mean anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave a comment!!


	3. he suffers my dudes cant say im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one’s just a tinyy bit shorter but still packed with hamilton references, i promise

Turns out, it was Leuen who had been the one to pop the question. He didn’t straight up ask Remus to marry him - that’s a bit too forward, huh -, however he did ask for them to be a couple. How did Roman get to know this? Because his twin went around school yelling about it, quite loudly and clearly for everyone inside and outside school grounds to hear him. At lunch break, the chaotic twin ran to find Roman and squeezed his arms so hard, they ached.

“Get your hands off, I don’t want to lose blood circulation on my arms-“ Roman said, rubbing both of them after Remus eventually let go.

The other ignored and continued on. “ROME, HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS BOYFRIEND!”

“Yes, I heard it the first time you screamed it in my ear.”

“I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, NOW!”

“Is any of it confusing you? Cause we all already understand it.”

“LEUEN IS MY BOYFRIEEEEEEEEEND~” Remus sing sung as he walked away.

Right then, Virgil approached. The boy snickered at the sight, patting Roman’s shoulder. 

“He seems happy.” He remarked with certain amused snark.

“He does,” Roman avoided his gaze, watching as his brother disappeared behind the cafeteria doors, “doesn’t he?”

His friend hummed and took back his hand, using it to hold his chin. With eyes squinted and taking a new stance, Virgil stood right in front of him to take a better look at Roman’s face.

“You’re super bitter about it.” He concluded. 

“WHA- Virgil, I would never!”

“Liar.” 

“Am not.”

“So are, you’re dying with jealousy.”

“And if I am?!” Roman half roared. “Doesn’t matter, Leuen likes Rem, not me. I don’t have any right to do anything about that.”

“What you had no right to do was ‘give up’ on Leuen for Remus like he was something you could give away to anyone.”

“I…” Roman’s voice wavered, “what?”

Virgil sighed, shaking his head. “Are you satisfied with what you’ve done? You’re the only enemy you ever seem to lose to, Roman. Do you think it was fair, what you did? To both of them or you? Most of all you? Don’t you think Leuen should’ve had a real choice? You basically took yourself out of the equation, he had no else to look at besides Remus. How would he react if he knew you did that, for ‘his sake’? You’re wallowing in self pity right now but you know, it’s your fault you’re here anyway.”

“......”

“Spit it.”

“... THAT WAS WAY HARSH, VIRGIL!”

He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. “You needed to hear it.”

“Did I?!”

“Yea, you dumbass. You’re self sacrificing nature is going to make you miserable if you keep going like this.”

Roman rubbed the back of his neck. “Jesus, when did you become a therapist?”

“I’ll take payment in credit card by the end of the week, thank you very much.” Virgil shot as a joke. “Seriously, think about yourself every once in a while, yah? I know this one is kinda of… uh… unreversable? That’s a word, right? Now it is. Anyway, just- stop being so quick to hurt yourself to make others happy. Even if they are your twin brother.”

A smile creept in Roman’s face. “Jeez, I didn’t know you cared so much.”

“Why do you think I’m your friend, dumbass?”

“Dunno, I figured you were just using me for my looks.”

Virgil snickered, laughing. “As if. You’re not nearly as handsome as you think you are.”

Roman let out an audible dramatic gasp. “You wound me!”

“Yah yah. Your ego’s impenetrable.”

As he said this, Virgil also slithered an arm behind Roman’s back to the other side and held him close. They walked in that sideways hug until their classroom. Despite the teasing words, Virgil was aware Roman did not have that big of an ego. Speaking was never his strong suit, actions were a bit better. Roman appreciated the acknowledgement, however small it was. 

At home, Remus shouted out the news just as loud and as well. Their parents seemed to be fine with it, supportive of it even. Roman began to wonder if he had misjudged their relationship after all… Maybe his parents could be okay with Roman too… What was it that Virgil had told him that morning? He was the only enemy he ever seemed to lose to? It sounded accurate. 

While his thoughts consumed him, his twin would not leave him alone either. This was a usual occurrence; when Remus got excited, he just wanted to share the… feeling? atmosphere? with his brother. It was like a puppy bringing back their owner the toy it loved the most. 

“Knock it out, Rem, you’re making me feel like a third wheel and Leuen isn’t even here.”

“Yah but what do you want me to do, Rome?!” Remus jumped on the bed. “He’s too cool! And my actual boyfriend now!!”

“Ye, maybe you could give me a piece?”

“In your dreams.”

Roman out his hands up after his twin threw a pillow at him. “I’m just sayin’ if you really loved me you would share him.”

“HA! ... Imma order pizza, im hungry.”

He yelled after his twin, who was already taking the stairs. “GET PEPPERONI FOR ME!”

The silence that settled in their room right after nagged at him. It was loaded with the words Remus had been screaming all morning, loaded with the looming sensation that Roman had really messed up. He was quite sure now, that he might regret that night for the rest of his days. His friend had been right, Roman would never be satisfied.

However, he would not resent his brother. After all, the decision had been his alone, hadn’t it? He did something stupid, he invented a new kind of a stupid! A truly-didn’t-think-this-through kind of stupid, an open-all-the-cages-in-the-zoo kind of stupid, a damage-he-could-never-undo kind of stupid.

He would just have to live with it.

Some two weeks later, Remus came with a dangerous proposal. He wanted Roman to hang out with him and Leuen for the day, the chaotic twin claimed he wanted them to be friends. Not… quite using those words, but he was very insistent in making them get together. How could Roman say no? He could literally give no excuses his brother wouldn’t see through. Later Virgil would scoff and pet Roman’s back without a word. That was enough, he knew exactly what his friend meant. 

On Sunday, they went to a bowling alley. At some point, Remus ducked out for a minute, claiming he needed to go to the bathroom. His twin was left alone with his boyfriend. This wasn’t an obvious set up to have them get talking, making friends, not at all. 

Remus left right after his 5th turn, which meant it was Roman’s now. He got eight pins and sat down, grinning at Leuen. His score was now ten digits above the boy’s and he relished in the fact. Now, Leuen took hit turn, making a strike, bumping him up Roman. 

Pouting at his dethronement, the boy speaks. “Well, now we wait.”

“Or we could take his turn and continue the game.” Leuen suggested.

Roman can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“Feel free to have Rem chop your head off then.”

“Oh,” Leuen holds his neck, “I like where my head is, thank you very much.”

Silence falls, Roman just lets it. Well… they’re in a bowling alley so silence is not entirely accurate but neither boys speak for several seconds. Hurt settled in Roman’s chest, looking at his twin’s boyfriend was a stab to his own heart. He wanted to make one thing clear for his brother’s partner. Because if he was going to suffer like this, if he was going to bear so much pain, Leuen would have to make every sacrifice to avoid Remus would feel any of it.

“I know my brother like I know my own mind, Leuen.” He blurted out. “You’ll never find anyone as fragile or as stubborn. I just want to make sure you won’t hurt him.”

The other boy, taken aback but hiding it, blinked before responding. “It was never my intention.”

“I believe you, sometimes it just happens though.” Roman sighed. “Remus… I love my brother, that’s all.”

Leuen held his chin up. “I can see that. I shall do my best to avoid hurting him then.”

“Thanks. So,, bowling was your idea?”

“Nah, Remus suggested it.” The boy leaned forward, wearing a smirk. “He was really looking forward to it.”

“He loves anything that resembles chaos and destruction.”

“Seems accurate.”

“You’re in for some shit, my friend.”

Leuen shrugged. “I like trouble.”

“You’ll do well with Rem, then.”

That’s exactly when Remus skipped his way back to their lane. Roman saluted with his hand and Leuen blew him a kiss. The twin blushed at the latter but moved on, seemingly not further affected. 

“My turn!!” He grabbed a ball.

The game ended and this was the score. In the end, Remus was in first, Leuen in second, being only one point lower. Roman had the lowest score of the three, taking third place.

“You really did the whole protective ‘don’t hurt my brother’ thing?”

Roman just knew telling the tale to Virgil would have its repercussions. Mainly, how the boy stared at him like he was the most dramatic of queens. He did it anyway, when Virgil was over at his place, when Remus had taken a day to go out with Leuen. 

“I wanted to make sure!” Roman shot in self defense. “I don’t know Leuen and- you know Remus, he seems like he could chop off your legs but he’s fragile, he hurts easily.”

“Jesus…” Virgil snickered and scoffed. “You really are a self sacrificing idiot.”

“I thought we had established that weeks ago.”

“Have we? Huh…” He held his chin. “Maybe I misheard.”

“You’re the one who proclaimed it, you stupid!” 

“Good one, Rome.” He continued teasing. “Such a great insult.”

Roman huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, hugging a pillow from his bed as he rested his chin on it. “Just leave me be.”

“I can’t.” Virgil shot. “Not while you’re hurting.”

This brought tears to Roman’s eyes. His friend saw through him better than anyone, the boy was trying to keep a nice face, a facade that he was okay and not dying inside but of course it hurt! Of course it chewed at him every day, and squeezed, twisted at his heart with more intensity than most other feelings. The sheer frustration over himself was the worst of it. Not having the person he liked? That was fine, overcomable. It would take a while but still something he could get over. Now, knowing he sabotaged his own happiness? Knowing he was the only reason he wasn’t with Leuen now instead of his twin? Now that… that might just break him. And it would take forever to recover from. 

The sobbing started and had no ending in sight. With hiccups and a very runny nose, Roman shook, hugging himself. Soon, Virgil joined in. He said nothing else, he insulted Roman no further, he came up with no solutions to solve the problem. His friend simply held him, he simply let the boy cry out all his thoughts. This was better than any words anyone could ever say to him.

Some minutes passed by, they could have amounted to an hour. Roman had no sense of the passage of time during that period. And probably, knowing just how long he had spent feeling sorry for himself might have made him feel pathetic so maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t know. What he was sure of though, was that Virgil stuck by him for every minute. So by the end, he didn’t feel quite as miserable.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls be kind and leave a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
